Love

I think the scariest thing to do in life is to fall in love.

To let go of all your inhibitions, all your fears, all your worries.

To love someone who can do no wrong in your eyes.

Senseless love,

Senseless emotion.

Those that choose to fall in love

Yes choose

Because the mere fact that you disobey your instincts telling you that breaking down all your walls can only end one way, most of the time – badly, is most definitely a choice

To all the lovers out there:

I salute you,

I applaud you.

Because what you do is brave

Very brave

Love exacts a pain unequalled on the rack.

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My Daily Bread

Sometimes I get confused

I don’t understand how I could have fallen this far

Let myself go

all for the sake of living in the moment

Now, the moment has passed

All I have left is the stain in my bed, all I have left is the perpetual headache in my head and the feeling that a part of me is missing

I miss you

I miss the way we used to be,

We could converse about literally everything, anything

Slowly you let me grow, left me alone to make my own decisions but now I just feel left alone

When I am in your building you remind me of your presence but like a tease it only lasts for  3600 seconds

I come back again the following week, the next and then the next

Hoping to encounter you again

I do

I do

I feel you holding me, I feel your grace against my skin, I feel your love as the warm tears rush from my eyes

But now they have gone cold

Nothing is left but a streak against my face

I go through the week remembering your name, two three times before I lay my head down for bed

Shame on me

Shame on ME

I complain but yet I do nothing

I hope that by some miracle you will absolve me from this problem

I am no longer a saint but your daily sinner so as I write this

This is my confessional, this is my daily bread, this is how I say I am sorry and this is how I pray for your mercy

Amen

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BeingMaryJane

So I sit here, waiting

Waiting for you to give me a sign

Waiting for you to tell me that I am the one

We talk incessantly

Wishing and hoping, praying and dreaming

Together.

Together Is what I thought we were

What I thought you wanted us to be

It is crazy how one can get so deluded

So crazy in love it is freaking pathetic.

But little did I know

That while we were jamming to each other’s melody

You were in between the legs of your wife Melody.

So it is true?

Is it true that you wasted my time?

Is it true you are not the man of my life?

You hesitate –

Naturally.

You cannot give me a straight answer.

Just like the criss-crossed roads in Bagada

You are confused

Not sure how to explain it

But it’s okay, I have gotten the message

Good bye and good riddance to bad rubbish!
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Deliverance

I feel you opening my heart, opening my soul

Taking every broken bone, every torn ligament and making it new

Fabricating new cells which soon become a group of tissues

You use your music to ease my pain, soothe me from the inside out

I love your love for me, it makes no sense

I feel like crying because it amazes me, how

That group of tissues soon develop into an organ

That pushes and pumps up all the bad and fills it up with the good

Patience, Peace, Love, Endurance, Forgiveness

There is hope.

I work again,

You helped me work again,

You lifted me up

Into your arms I fell, I fall,

Willingly

Because I know that when I do, you will save me once again –

Deliverance

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Banana Split

That was it.

We

Split.

It was over.

I so badly wanted to call you and tell you that I love you

I secretly wanted every red blink on my phone to be a message from you

I wanted to tell you that this was a mistake.

That my decision,

Our decision…

Wasn’t a good decision.

That we should still be together.

But then my brain connected to my heart and reminded it:

“This isn’t the right time,”

“You both don’t have time for each other.”

Screw time!

I want to be with you!

But again, I seldom wait before another thought pops into my head

You can’t be in a relationship by yourself,

You need communication,

And you’re not gonna’ get it.

So as much as I wanna’ scream,

As much as I wanna’ shout all the way up to the heavens that:

I insert name here, want to be with you

I can’t…

I shouldn’t…

And I won’t.

Right guy, wrong time,

Period.

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Break Up

I cry and die inside at the thought of what just happened

You didn’t just abandon me

What you don’t realise is that you left me in a runt

Why you ask? Because until someone good comes along, being in a relationship is just a mere thought.

Even when they do come along, what am I supposed to do?

Am I supposed to run to them with open arms, or guard my heart and soul?

I hurt so much inside I can’t seem to find a way out

I have cried, and tried to forget you

I have prayed and yet still strayed

It all came back to you…

 

Sigh

 

I don’t even know what to say anymore

 

Thump, thump, thump, goes the beat of my heart

Each heart string pulling at the words you once meant

The words said that now have no meaning

You left me, you left ME,

No, what you did is tried to murder me

All that is left of me is an:

Insecure, alone, confused and unloved little woman

 

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No Words

Whether you like it or not, your life revolves around him.

He asks you to sit, you sit.

He asks you to wait, you wait.

You enjoy this level of control, because to you, he cares.

His every minute calls, constant texts and effortless words remind you that he is there.

It’s too late.

You love him.

You love him because he makes you laugh, he is witty, he is smart,

You tell yourself that he wasn’t always like this,

He wasn’t always this demanding.

He is just insecure.

He is intimidated because he knows how much he loves you.

You my friend, are in denial.

This is just the beginning of the end.

This level of possessiveness is not cute.

This level of control over your life and your Facebook, isn’t right.

But you won’t listen to me.

I am just your friend, not the love of your life.

I am sorry I have failed you.

Short of losing you as my friend,

I have written you this.

If you remain in this relationship, ask yourself this one question:

‘Is he really worth all of this?’

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