My Daily Bread

Sometimes I get confused

I don’t understand how I could have fallen this far

Let myself go

all for the sake of living in the moment

Now, the moment has passed

All I have left is the stain in my bed, all I have left is the perpetual headache in my head and the feeling that a part of me is missing

I miss you

I miss the way we used to be,

We could converse about literally everything, anything

Slowly you let me grow, left me alone to make my own decisions but now I just feel left alone

When I am in your building you remind me of your presence but like a tease it only lasts for  3600 seconds

I come back again the following week, the next and then the next

Hoping to encounter you again

I do

I do

I feel you holding me, I feel your grace against my skin, I feel your love as the warm tears rush from my eyes

But now they have gone cold

Nothing is left but a streak against my face

I go through the week remembering your name, two three times before I lay my head down for bed

Shame on me

Shame on ME

I complain but yet I do nothing

I hope that by some miracle you will absolve me from this problem

I am no longer a saint but your daily sinner so as I write this

This is my confessional, this is my daily bread, this is how I say I am sorry and this is how I pray for your mercy

Amen

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Deliverance

I feel you opening my heart, opening my soul

Taking every broken bone, every torn ligament and making it new

Fabricating new cells which soon become a group of tissues

You use your music to ease my pain, soothe me from the inside out

I love your love for me, it makes no sense

I feel like crying because it amazes me, how

That group of tissues soon develop into an organ

That pushes and pumps up all the bad and fills it up with the good

Patience, Peace, Love, Endurance, Forgiveness

There is hope.

I work again,

You helped me work again,

You lifted me up

Into your arms I fell, I fall,

Willingly

Because I know that when I do, you will save me once again –

Deliverance

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